Did We Answer the Question Wrong About Modesty?

“I typically love everything you guys have to say, but the part about modesty in your last episode was disappointing. We are trying to teach our kids (girls- it’s always just girls) to be who they are and love themselves, but then we tell them exactly what that should look like. We define modesty and tell them if they respect themselves they’ll cover up. We tell them they aren’t responsible for the thoughts of others, but they need to consider the message they’re sending. You mentioned the importance of intention (totally agree with this), yet ultimately it was irrelevant if your daughter chose to show more skin that you wanted her to. Can you see how messy y’all made this? I think you need a redo. What if we teach self love and self respect and let our girls decide what that looks like? What if we focused on the intention behind their clothing and left it at that? What if the focus of the LDS church on defining modesty is exacerbating the problem? What if we all just left it alone?”